Living With the Chronically Ill

Living with the chronically ill is a tough one. You can imagine it, or maybe you don't even have to, maybe you live it. Within this lens are different thoughts about art, emotions, ways of survival for your own self and the calling of an art goddess. I am not saying I "am" a goddess, only that I feel the potential calling me.

Thus I tell you my story (only in part) and my way of dealing with "stuff".

I think it is important to note that art is not the only way to survive taking care of someone you most likely love, but it is my way. I have been an artist since I was 3 years old, sitting in the back seat of my parents car, as they traveled like gypsies across America. It was in that back seat that I found my best ally in life, and that was my friendship with art.

When you care for someone you love who is sick, you can lose yourself. I do and I have, but I always feel rescued by the creative energy that captured me as a child. To survive you have to take your calling, whatever it is, seriously. It is not a hobby if it is a calling, it is a shelter and an obligation.

YOU matter! I matter! Consider your own existence and the importance of YOU. This is a "note to self" as well, as I need to continually remind myself of these things.

Sooo.. I came across this book that has helped me a LOT! Let me tell you some about it and how it has affected me.

What causes us to plug in? After reading a book by Steven Pressfield, titled "The War of Art", I am convinced that his message to artists is the one a lot of them run from. It is the message to set time aside to do the art they were called to do. I know I do from time to time yet my attention to it can be sporadic.

Pressfield speaks of "resistance" as being the enemy within and the demon that blocks the road to success. Success mind you is subjective.

I now consider him to be my mentor, whether he likes it or not, but I am sure he would not mind. After all he wrote the book. He of course might never know that I have singled him out in this way, but I know that despite all, his teachings will rise to the occasion.

"The War of Art" has several follow up books. I list them below. I also keep them nearby me, always. I keep one in my purse, 2 on my computer desk and one on my nightstand. I am obsessed with finding my own worth; my place in the art world; creativity. I feel the way to find those things is as simple as the writer suggests it is. It is all based on one simple thing and that is to "do the work". Just do it.

Resistance is a sneaky lover that you do not want in your bed and yet it is relentless. Be aware of that battle arising every second of the day. It will never go away, so don't expect a rest from its temptations. Despite it all though, if you love art in "any" form, be it writing, painting, sculpting or how you set the table for dinner, know that you must apply yourself, not waiting on inspiration. That is a myth. The idea that you cannot create because you don't feel inspired is that crazy "resistance" telling you lies. Just do the work. 9-5 or all night long for you night owls, just like any other job.

In many ways I think the battle between happiness and sadness can be cured, for the most part anyway. I am "somewhat" convinced that when an artist does not "do the work", depression and sadness become their constant companion.

Below I share the back and forth of those emotions, the ups, downs, and yet the idea that often sadness brings out great artistic concepts. Lets face it, funny, happy paintings are "cute", but maybe they don't make great art. Ohh don't get upset cause I wrote that if you do "cute" art. It has its place of course, and is acknowledged by many as possessing genuine stature, just like more serious forms of art. I am only suggesting that the Mona Lisa is not famous for being "cute".

Last thought, reflection is not a bad thing, it is not the enemy. We are.

The image is of my relief "The Missing Swan" 12x12x2 mixed media on canvas by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen. Below you will see a work in progress of another piece in this same series.

It's a battleground out there kids! And who or what are we up against? "Resistance" and our very own selves. This is the book that I speak of in my introduction above. I have read this book 3 times now and know that I will again. It is that profound to me. While the message may "seem" to be redundant at times, hold on, continue on, FEEL what the author is trying to share with you. IF YOU do? Wow, what changes are ahead for YOU.

I NEED MUSIC.. it is my muse.

Once you read "The War of Art" you will want to get his other books on the same subject. Ready to dig in and "do the work?" YES!!

Ever since I was a little girl of about 3 years old, drawing in the back seat of my parents car, as they traveled the countryside, I knew, I just knew I was an artist. My parents were gypsies of their time, like a lot of people during that era, who drove from state to state to see if the rainbows might be stronger at some new destination. So we drove, and drove and drove. They would settle down from time to time but I was left to my own devices in the back seat of the car most often.

When I was in high school I read a book about Zelda Fitzgerald. I decided then that the Fitzgerald's, F. Scott and Zelda were just like my parents except without the money or parties.. LOL! My mother in particular, relating to Zelda's emotional problems. She was born with a melancholy she told me once and it was that piercing state that led her to turmoil. My father was/is a stanch man, set in his ways about the man being the head of the household and never truly accepting a woman's worth. I am positive he would find that statement of mine appalling though.. which also seems pretty darn funny to me. The two elements equaled the menagerie of quarrels and turbulence that resembled the life I read about. The stories seemed the same. It was the artist's way I think. Artists don't always know their own calling or don't follow though and the gifts of creativity are left to the wayside. My parents were/are both very intelligent, well read, artistic people who could have written or painted something brilliant. They decorated their homes with abandon, made mosaics, painted. My mother wrote poetry and beginnings of things. They kept the spark of creativity alive in our household but never pursued the dream of it going anywhere or truly defining themselves as a painter or sculptor or writer. I do though because I have accepted the call and I know it within my being.

All of this leads to me and my calling. I am an artist. It took me a long time to say that when people asked me. I honored the title too much and didn't feel I was talented enough to say that out loud. That little girl in the back seat of my parents car beacons me though, reminding me that drawing is the basis of me breathing and the root of who I am. I am an artist.

Being an artist one must be a self starter. You must be your greatest fan and supporter. I cheer me! Despite the gift of knowing who you are from a child does not guarantee anything though. Like my parents, you can have the gift but decide to dabble in it only and then one day there you are, watching TV with few years left to your life. It is that stark and it can be that sad.

YOU have to decide, is it a hobby or is it your calling.

Find the beauty, it IS there.. I promise. I send that promise to YOU as well as me. Fight the good fight and "do the work" that YOU were born to do.

Here is a dear presentation called, "Something Beautiful" from her "Maslow's Songbook" album

OK so what is YOUR process? How much do YOU apply yourself to your art.. whatever it may be.

by the way.. the pic is a "work in progress" of one of my reliefs. Smile.

~~*~~

I found this book to be so profound. Not in the same was as I did "The War of Art", it meant different things to me. It rescued parts of my soul. Yes I need to go back and read it again!

Is the little girl her inner child? I have watched this video many times and I think so. So what does that mean to you? Do YOU embrace your inner child? Or is she wrapped up in the arms of resistance?

Relevant Words to this Lens

Resistance

The refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument

Work

Activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

A task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person or thing has to do.

Sacrifice

An act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

Human sacrifice was practiced by many ancient cultures. People would be ritually killed in a manner that was supposed to please or appease a god or spirit. While not widely known, human sacrifices for religious reasons still exist today in a number of nations.

Balance

An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

Libra (my sign)

Astrology the seventh sign of the zodiac, which the sun enters at the northern autumnal equinox. Astronomy: A small constellation (the Scales or Balance), said to represent the balance that is the symbol of justice. It contains no bright stars.

LOVE

An intense feeling of deep affection. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another"

Selfish

Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

~~*~~

Yay.. here are a bunch of UTubes of Steven Pressfield sharing. So darn cool!

First "Pretty Face"

taken from we sink - morr music mm107 - 2011

I see my pretty face in his old eyes

I listen to our blood run side by side

I throw my hands to you and run away

Its so cold so dangerous that I can't stay

I run away from you

Into your dream and who the one

That I was in when you took me

That I could never meet my friends again

I thought I touched them but I can't feel Im in your dream

They want to take me but I will hide from them

Tonight I take your life and throw it far away

I'll use my pretty face to find my way to him

I run away from you

Into your dream and who the one

That I was in when you took me

That I could never meet my friends again

Will you be my friend in my dream

Just take that pretty face Ive shown me

Will we ever have that baby

Just take that pretty face Ive shown me

Are you my friend

Will you be my friend in my dream

Just take that pretty face Ive shown me

~~*~~

I have a lot of Rebekka Karijord's music. I play it while I sculpt or paint. I find great inspiration in her videos as well.

Steven Pressfield's blog .. sign up for his newsletter! A few sites about him as well as some of my websites and info.

Please leave your comment and let me know you were here. Do YOU "have a set schedule for doing your art?"