Long Lost Lovers Reunited After 30 Years

Have you ever felt that connection, that you knew someone already? A connection hard to explain unless you have felt it too?

Let me tell you first hand that you never know what will be around the next corner in life.

Denny, my husband, and I were high school sweethearts. We found each other after 30 years. We are working on a book about our amazing and romantic tale of lovers found.

Miracles do happen...

I wrote this poem way before we got back together. A lot of the poems I post of sadness are from the time I was not with Denny and missed him. We have been married for 8 years! I still write and post my sad poems. I have written before how people used to comment about the fact that all of my paintings felt sad to them... and asked my why... I would say, "What is interesting about happy?" I still think that is true to a point. Who doesn't love a beautiful tragedy? It's romantic and perplexing. I am not sad anymore like this poem written so long ago. But there are moments, and everyone has them. There are also flowers and blue skies with big white puffy clouds to remind us that everything has it's place and is actually in perfect time.

"Me Without You"

In all my dreams

I never imagined me without you.

I wandered through my life

and I would always see you.

I counted on your timing

your smile

you caught my soul

and found me off guard.

Must you still lean on my soul? .

Pull my insides

'til I lose all control?

and then...

take what becomes a prize to me

and leave me so alone?

Such an expense I paid

finding me without you.

I am off balance

I can hardly breath.

I never included the outcome

of your leaving...

leaving me without you.

I am a broken container.

I bare no excuse.

I cannot stand on my feet

nor hide my despair.

I am the tear in my own eye.

nowhere to start again

no step to begin.

The smell of emptiness

is a smell I cannot bare

a room so vacant.

I loath myself

that I should fall apart so.

As if you were the only person

to verify my breathing

the only cure

to my lapses of continuity

Every part of me

has taken a separate direction.

I awake in the night

alone and empty.

There is nothing more alone

than to wake in the middle of the night

no one to reach out for

no comfort to find.

I am afraid that I will wake

and there will be

nothing left of me.

A collection of clutter

or a speck in your eye

marooned

an after thought.

Reflections that find me

so un-groomed.

Little squares of reason

tiles on the floor.

Ushered in are spokesmen

to declare

part of what I already know.

On every corner

there is sadness

we all know.

In every person

on every occasion

a dimmer glow.

Should it trivialize my ache?

In all my dreams

I never imagined

me...

without you.

note: I won a "Juror's Choice Award" in the East Hawaii Cultural Center's All Juried Show 2005 for my portrait of "Denny" a 36x48 oil on canvas. The portrait of "Denny" is posted on my blog, October 04, 2005 archives and on my website.

About the Author:

Kathy Ostman-Magnusena

Hawaii, United States

Aloha! I am a figurative artist and Illustrator. If you check out my website you will see that I am very prolific in oils. My paintings are collected worldwide. I also do sculpture; images available upon request. I have illustrated for Hay House Inc., Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. I also enjoy story writing and poetry. All of the paintings, stories and poems on my blogs and website are written by me.

Check out my website http://www.kathysart.com or one of my blogs at: http://kathysart.blogspot.com/

You never know what the next day, year or even breath might bring. Hold out for true love.

IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING LAVENDER CLOAK"

I think I'd miss you

even if I'd never met you.

I think there would be a space missing from me.

When I am not with you now

I cannot think of much else

than what is lacking

a few missed breaths

a few sentiments to share with someone

who understands

someone in the same space.

When I am not with you

airplanes still fly overhead

What on earth can they be thinking?

Some would think me damaged

or at least insecure

oh so needy

without love notes in my pocket.

Yet, my stance

my journey

the very essence of my said creativity

is not quite centered

when you are not within reach.

What can I say?

What excuses do I have?

Except...

it is what it is

that's all.

I am within that fairy tale

the one that little girls grew up dreaming about?

The ones with the white horse

the kiss that awakens...

a sleeping

damsel.

Goddess alert

keep your voice intact

poetry is never all that far

words that wind round dreams

unmet.

You my love

are like the breeze

of the words I want to say

I am understood

encouraged

lifted up

by you.

And I?

I love you.

I think that I would miss you

even if we had never met.

I think I would feel incomplete

never being able to figure out what was missing.

Lonely

for a song

that would never find its way to sound.

Like a rose in a vase without baby's breath

and ferns

a flower in a vase

without water

left to dry out.

Or maybe I'd just stay inside the garden

wondering

and no one would come to pick me

at all.

Yes~

I know...

that I would miss you

"even if we had never met."

by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

copyright 2012

IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING "FORGET ME NOT"

~~*~~

Things will never be perfect but they will always hold magic if that is what your focus on. You have to look for it, wait for it, and them embrace every inch of it.

The night before I left where I lived at the time.. to be with Denny, I stopped at the town Post Office. There was a young girl there who was crying. She was being comforted by a boy... I saw that and left them to themselves. All through these years and inside the very moment that I saw her, I wanted to say... HOLD OUT FOR LOVE... and I wanted to tell her that TIME CHANGES and we have no idea how much. I wanted to tell her about Denny and me and that I had found him and that life around the nest corner might just surprise you. It did me. Sigh... I think of her.... sigh.

pic is one of my paintings.